Koko Head Crater

Only 1,048 steps to go.

Photo: Thinkstock

20 thoughts every hiker has had on the trail up Koko Head Crater

Consisting entirely of stairs at various inclines, this trail is ready to kick your butt.

It sounds great on paper: Waking up at 5:30 a.m., getting a nice workout climbing the stairs to Koko Head Crater and having a transformative moment watching the sun rise above the horizon. Easy, right? Not even a little bit.

1. "Why is it still dark? And cold? Is this what 5:30 a.m. feels like?"

 

2. "Where am I? I think I'm lost. Is that a baseball field?"

 

3. "I probably should have brought a flashlight." 

 

4. "I do legs, like, once a week. What is that, like, three flights of stairs? No problem."

 

5. "Wow, okay. I'm awake, I'm alive, these stairs aren't so bad. Who said this was hard?"

 

6. Taking your first break and looking up at how many more stairs are left.

 

7. "Wow, what noise did I just make?" 

 

8. Getting halfway up and trying to convince yourself that, "Yeah, this is good. The view's nice. I can probably stop here. What's the point of going higher?"

 

9. "What if I just jog a little, that'll make it go faster!" 

 

10. Seeing other hikers on the trail and trying to encourage them even though you're equally dead.

 

11. "Oh what the ... Is that a sketchy looking bridge?"

 

12. "Oh no, it IS!"

 

13. Thinking "It can't get worse, right?" and then seeing the steeper incline ahead.

 

14. Regretting every life choice you've ever made that has led you to this point, and then seeing the end of the stairs.

 

15. "Oh wow, it's crowded up here. I hope they didn't watch me come up, or at least missed that part where I panic-cried on the bridge."

 

16. "Wait hold on, where does the sun rise again? South-east-ish?"

 

17. Seeing a bunch of clouds on the horizon, and realizing it won't matter where the sun rises.

 

18. Still, that view though.

 

19. "Sunrise aside, I mean look at me. I'm on top of a mountain. Somebody call the Olympics because I am literally a peak athlete."

 

20. "Haha, just kidding. I actually don't think I can make it back down, someone please call a helicopter."